One Liners ! ! !

  • I almost had a psyhic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  • Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
  • When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  • Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
  • Shin:A device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • I intend to live forever, so far so good.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  • 24 hours in a day…24 cans of beer in a case…Coincidence?
  • What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
  • I couldn’t repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.
  • A fool and his money are soon partying
  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
  • Only borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect to get it back.
  • OK, so what is the speed of light?

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